The shrieking of indignant internet users

I saw this post over at Kotaku about how Valve's gonna implement a totally optional software survey in the future.

Wait. Do you... do you hear that?

Listen.

It is the shrill sound of nerd rage.

Most responses to this news are from Kotaku readers indignant of the fact that Steam would dare to request permission to scan their Windows generated program list.

There's a lot of very impassioned claims that people would never let a friend snoop around their computer, let alone a corporation. Kinda makes ya wonder what these people are hiding, no?

I understand the desire for privacy, and I hate invasive snooping as much as the next guy. And don't get me wrong, I'm no fanboi. But I do possess a reasonable level of trust for Valve and have no problems letting them grab my installed programs list.

I figure they'll either try to sell me relevant products that I want to use and will gladly buy, and/or figure out what programs cause compatibility issues with various Steam games and hopefully patch a fix.

I mean, really, what's the worst that could happen?

Dick Pix

So apparently guys have collectively decided that the best way to a woman's heart is by taking pics of one's.. how should I say.. man meat, and then emailing it to one's target of romance. The only conceivable result is an instant swoon, followed by love ever-lasting. Amirite?

Now, I have been told by some well-meaning but clearly delusional people that this is, in fact, not so seductive... but I'm not really convinced.

In order to put my doubts to rest, I'd like to conduct a test. I've compiled some pictures of really big dicks, and would like to see if you, dear reader, find them arousing. Let the viewing begin:

Dick Pick 1
Dick Pick 2
Dick Pick 3
Dick Pick 4
Dick Pick 5

Well, what say you?

Serenade me with the song that will quiet my burning question: are dick pix truly an effective method to seduce a woman?

Why "global warming" is still controversial:

In this Washington Post article, Stan Cox supposes that we ought to all give up our air conditioning so as to help save the world from global warming. And of course when I say global warming, I mean the sort caused by the actions and machines of humanity.

This article is a pretty good example of why a lot of people are still ambivalent towards climate change and taking action to help protect our planet. People like Al Gore have spear-headed an extremist movement that ostracizes anyone who dares to doubt, doesn't welcome dialogue and debate, and is constantly pushing the doomsday scenario.

No matter how true this message may or may not be, a lot of people just won't buy into it when its crammed down their throats in such a ridiculous fashion. Calling on the average North American to give up our air conditioning is exactly the wrong way to go about achieving meaningful change in the world.

This is emblematic of the incredible miscalculation that was made by people like Mr. Gore who wanted to tell the world to change their ways, while he and the other elites are still flying around in their private jets and enjoying a lavish lifestyle.

If you really want to help encourage societal change, then here's a few simple steps:

1) Stop ostracizing anyone that has doubt. I constantly see people get called all sorts of dirty names for not instantly and whole-heartedly believing in man-made global warming. What the fuck? Its like an aggressive religious belief, and that further scares people away. Just say something like "I can understand your doubt, but you should check out the arguments for it. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to try and be more eco-friendly in our lifestyles, right?"

2) Come up with practical solutions, not these pie-in-the-sky ridiculous notions that would completely transform society overnight. We're not going to give up air conditioning, and we're not going to transform our economy to alternative energy sources without a lot of baby-steps. Propose something plausible and you'll get a lot more support.

3) Drop the extremism do-or-die mentality. It doesn't work. You tried it, and I can't fault you for it. We've only got one planet, and there's plenty of examples of past societies going extinct due to lack of environmental management. This is serious shit, admittedly, and precisely because of that we can't afford to lose our cool; if one strategy (the bat-shit crazy religious-like fundamentalist approach) fails to win enough support, let's have the wherewithal to adopt a new strategy with a better likelihood of success.

I apologize if any of this sounds too reasonable to hardcore environmentalists, but really I just want humanity to take better care of our "island" and not go the way of Easter.

Wife Aggro

So recently I've begun playing World of Warcraft again, and one of the common reasons that people end up having to stop playing before they're good and ready is the dreaded "wife aggro".

Now at the risk of sounding sexist, I've truly never heard of a case wherein the wife is playing and the husband is angry at being neglected. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I've never seen it.

So, what do you do when you have wife aggro? If you're a lamer, (or care about your marriage,) then you'll log off. But let's explore some alternative choices before we do anything as drastic as leaving your raid early!

1) One word: Chloroform.

2) Work out a barter system. If she leaves you alone on raid nights, take her out to a romantic comedy (or whatever it is she personally would enjoy.)

3) Subtly encourage her to find a boyfriend on-the-side. With you seemingly ignorant of her indiscretions, she'll either be out enjoying herself or home and feeling so guilty that she'll let you play in peace.

4) First of all, it is imperative that you have two WoW-capable computers in your household for this to work. Create a level 1 character, then approach your spouse while she's in a good mood. Ask her for the favor of watching over your character while you run out for a few minutes. Show her the basics, then leave for thirty minutes. Come back home and she ought to be well hooked and ready to have you install WoW on the second computer! And the best part: an X-53 Touring Rocket!

5) Should your wife prove resistant to everything else, then just how compatible are you two anyway? I mean, on the one hand you have a living breathing human of the opposite gender who is apparently attracted to you. On the other hand, you have pixels that, if you sink hours and hours into the game (and get lucky), will start showing purple and give you a sense of achievement. Tough choice, I know...

And that, my friends, is sound advice on how to handle the inevitable "wife aggro" problem. Hopefully Blizzard's working on a patch to address this issue, but until then feel free to bookmark this post.

The fight has begun!

As I previously stated, Arizona's new law targeted at curtailing illegal immigration has now become a battle over states' rights verses the federal government. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I really do believe we Americans have a lot at stake regarding states' rights.

Should the feds steamroll a state's ability to govern itself without undue federal interference, then I truly believe it might create an actual secession movement. And the last time that happened, a lot of Americans died.

And really, no matter what your opinion is regarding illegal immigration and the potential for discrimination and abuse, it is an important precedent that has long-reaching consequences completely unconnected to the issue at hand.

The fact of the matter is that illegal immigration is a problem in Arizona, and the federal government was not enforcing the laws they have on the books. What Arizona did was simply create a state law to allow them to enforce federal laws that aren't being enforced by the feds themselves.


To me, this is a clear case of the federal government's failing to protect a state, and then trying to prevent the state from protecting itself. A dangerous precedent, indeed.

Modern politics has become so mired in retaining popularity for one's future political career that nobody has the willingness to make the right choices, regardless of how unpopular they are. What I would give to see a government full of men who truly wanted the best for their nation, and not just for themselves and their wealthy elite allies. But alas, that is a dream that neither elephant nor donkey could fulfill.

The Perils of Summer? The only danger was to my wallet.

Steam's sale is coming to a close here in a few hours. The end result is that I spent $95 on various games, buying 24 different titles. There were maybe 15 more that I was on the fence with, but I had to keep telling myself that even though I could save $2 here and $3 there, it would ultimately be better for me to just play through the games I already own but haven't beat. Speaking of beat, there's a really fun game you should check out if you like music. And who doesn't like music?

I wonder if other gamers had an equally hard time of resisting Steam's wicked temptations? I suppose I'm safe until next year's Christmas season, at least... which happens to be less than six months away! Is it too early to start preparing for the Yuletide celebrations?

Oh, the weather outside is broiling...

Exhaustion

Just got in, spent all day on the road. I'm exhausted, good night.